Who Would Have Thought?

And so a couple of months back, I was invited to be the keynote speaker for a graduation ceremony. For all the kadaldalan that I am, I find myself actually dreading the day of the ceremony. What will I say? Hay, of course I’m dooper touched that I was selected. No questions talaga, thanks thanks. Pero of course, kakatakot…shempre I want to inspire, and I am hoping that I can actually move the graduating batch through words. For days now, I’ve been trying to compose a speech inside my head. But nga this fear talaga of failing freezes all of me. Role model ba ako na matatawag?! Honestly, parang hindi eh. I keep imagining myself in front of participants ng isang race. Parang briefing. This is what you do when you hear the gun shot, signal yan, alis na sa starting line, run, run, run. Go go go. Ganyan.

Diba those that get invited to be keynote speakers in grad ceremonies are really accomplished people? Eeeek. I feel as if I don’t belong. Okay, so maybe I have accomplished a few things here and there. At 25, I think I’m considered a young lawyer. Young…not great. I can’t even say that I’m already good at what I do because honestly, I know that there’s too much space pa for improvement. I love what I do, that’s certain. I’ve dreamed of this ever since forever, hello. But of course there’s so much more I have to learn. So what do I share with the graduating kiddos? I’m in a state of panic right now.

I can let them in on what goes on in the “real world” as I know it, but I might end up scaring them or blurring the amazing grown-up world they probably imagined. I want to inspire but I don’t want to give forged promises of what lies beyond graduation. I don’t expect them to believe everything that I’ll tell them, but at the very least, I am hoping they could bring bits and pieces of my words and thoughts wherever their race will lead them. Ang hindi nila alam, nasa starting line lang din ako ng sarili kong race. Eeeeeek. Blag!

Ayayayayay!!

so what really happens after?

(with bestfriends Jang and Trinagar)

I will try to finish my speech tonight. And I’m hoping it turns out okay….