Touche

some things hit close to home.
like Episode 13 of Scrubs season 8

"You know, I never answered your question earlier about whether you and I will always be doctors: you will. You have this amazing ability to find joy in everything you do. Whether it's an operation you've done a hundred times, or even teaching. But as for me, I know you think it was a big victory figuring out what was wrong with Robyn, but those moments are kind of like eating a piece of chocolate. I enjoy the satisfaction for about ten seconds, and then it's gone. See, the thing that sticks with me, is the look of anguish on a patients face when I give them crappy news. I hold on to that forever. You're a surgeon: you occasionally get to fix people, but I figure out whats wrong with someone and then most the time I can't do anything about it; I just wish them luck dealing with it, or try to keep them alive for a while longer. So, you wanna know if I'll always be a doctor? I'd have to say, I don't know. I'm a doctor now, I will be tomorrow, but I can tell you that, if I'm ever lucky enough to get married, to have some kids, to maybe not need the money, I think I'd walk out of here and never look back." -- Elliot Reid (to Chris Turk)

Surge of Truth

In this world and in this lifetime...


You're the most selfish person I know.





And I love you the most.

Tamporurout!

I know it's not that obvious... but truth is I'm a very matampuhin person. Anyways, what's my point? My pagtatampo (borne out of jealousy) gave birth to a very touching series of acts from my Momsy. Super touched!!


One morning, when i couldn't take it anymore, i texted her saying that I got so hurt by the stuff that i discovered. She never stopped sending me messages, explaining her side and asking me not to be tampo anymore. The naughty naughty matampuhin gelay that i am just gave out masungit replies.


Aba, after less than a week...i was surprised to find out that she actually composed an entry about me in her blog, hoping that this will pacify me (hahaha!). It was sort of like a published letter of apology. Eeeeek. kaloka. Click on the link to view momsy's entry.



That would have been enough, really!! But momsy was unstoppable. She had another surprise for me. One aternoon, our office receptionist told me that a package came in for me via LBC that morning. Momsy just really had to seal her panunuyo series with a funky funky gift! Loves it momsy!!!

YOU ARE OH SO FORGIVEN, MOMSY!!
Thanks a bunch, and love you to bits! :)

Love, Matutrina1

I need a new wedding song!

Nope, not getting married soon. It's just that ever since 'forever' came out, i already decided na yan na ang wedding song but of course mabagal version. As in. I even asked Maj to help me get the choir na gusto ko for the wedding. eeeeek. Well, yan ang supposed to be wedding song until my sister showed this vid to me.





hay. hay. now i need to find a new wedding song. and a prospective groom.


:-)

wheeee!!!

I can't concentrate on work right now. As in I can't focus because of 4 things.


1. Cebu Trip

It'll be my first time to visit so I'm super excited na. Many thanks to Rocky for inviting!



2. Sims 3

I received an sms from Patbau last week saying she got Sims3 for me! eeeeeeeek!!! Trinagar and I got so addicted to the Sims during law school years. As in deadma wag na matulog! I'm excited and scared. Siraan na ba to ng career?!



3. Upcoming Trips

I have one for august and one for november. I'm not sure if october plans will push through. but anyways...planning and planning..and planning. never ends. i love it! I want to travel forever eeeeeek!



4. Moving Out

I think I'll finally do it!!! sigh and yay! *fingers crossed*




back to work!!

RECAP

Not a regular blogger anymore. *sigh* been busy with A) work; B) play; and C) dramarama.

WORK

Eeek. I don’t talk work when it comes to blogs.

PLAY

Due to the taranta levels at work, didn’t get to write about my Iloilo experience and Singapore Trip. Super delayed na this one, but I’m super itching to write about something so I’ll just go, kebs!

Went to Iloilo last January for the Dinagyang festival and to enjoy the gimik scene with friends. Well, fun fun fun. Didn’t get to watch the entire festival nga lang because I was super sleepy! But super saya! Drums drums galore, I love!! I will definitely go back! Kainis that this Iloilo kwento is not as detailed as the Bacolod one. Pero that doesn’t mean na hindi fun sa Iloilo ha. Super saya lalo na the night life. Flow may be the more popular bar in Smallville, but honestly, I enjoyed Bourbon Street and Crave. Not super crowded and chill lang. Eeek I wanna go back! Haha. Many thanks again to Mor Espinosa for the warm welcome!

@ Buto't Balat; the Crave party; Dinagyang festival

The Singapore trip was a spontaneous plan of the Domingo Clan. Wala lang. But anyways, I went there partly because of work. Additionally, I went there din for some quasi-ocular inspection. Hahaha. I’ve been thinking of moving to Singapore kasi eh (hopefully with Team Patajo). After the trip and after further research, I think I’ll have to extend my self-imposed deadline. I don’t think I can leave yet. *sigh* (I’ll save this story for another day).

Palawan Beach, Sentosa Island; yum hawker food; go shopping!

Singapore was fun! I miss prata-cheese from Food Rep and that flat noodle thing form hawker stalls. Enjoyed Charles and Keith and Aldo sale! Go drown in shoes and bags, I love!!! Yun lang afford ko then. I’m trying to save for my birthday trip and a lot more. :p

DRAMARAMA

The old me would write and rant about the drama. Ha! But I’ve changed. At any rate…I’ll wait til the $h!+ hits the fan (in case it does) and then MAYBE I’ll write about it.

Now, back to work.

p.s. I can’t wait for my next trip. Eeeek, sana one more trip before my Vietnam one for June! I’m restless again.

Forgiveness

because i'm on a drama queen high today.

Forgiveness
wamdue project

Forgiveness, forgiveness
everything is all over...
Forgiveness. everything is all over...
Forgiveness...

Oh, life
if there was ever any doubt in my mind, it's now.
And for the first time
I think maybe we weren't meant to be.
I don't think the answer could be answered
by anyone other than me...
think about it, dwell upon it
try to find some clarity.

Didn't I give you enough?
What was wrong with me?
Dig it up... try to find
all that you can't see

I want to love you
dunno if I can.
I want to give you one more chance.
Forgiveness, it comes so slow...
all is so uncertain, everything is unknown.
I want to love you
dunno know if I can.
I want to give you one more chance.
Forgiveness, it comes so slow...
all is so uncertain, everything is unknown.

Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...

My Angry Mode it comes and it goes...
though it is a mystery
why I act so out of control
as to let my emotions get the best of me.
I can't help it, can't deny it.
There is anger
won't try to hide it.
Got to burn it, set it on fire.
Ashes blowin' in the sky and I wonder why...

Didn't I give you enough?
What was wrong with me?
Dig it up... try to find
all that you can't see.

I want to love you
dunno if I can.
I want to give you one more chance.
Forgiveness, it comes so slow...
all is so uncertain, everything is unknown.
I want to love you
dunno know if I can.
I want to give you one more chance.
Forgiveness, it comes so slow...
all is so uncertain, everything is unknown.

Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...
Forgiveness...

Hello, Tajito!

So Big Daddy Taps texted me last Tuesday, 18 November, saying that Tajito is out already! And yay, yay, thank God that everyone is okay!

The following day, paid visit to the nicest and most cooperative (according to Momsy) little boy in the world. Super dooper cute this Tajito!!!! And clap clap clap to Momsy, so unlike other just-gave-birth women I’ve witnessed! Super lively and madaldal as usual.

Congratulations to Momsy and Big Daddy!

Shetttttt gusto ko na ng ganito!!!!

Amazing Race to Bohol

Trina from gimik, Poma from slumber..both on their way to NAIA Terminal 3! We got there at the same time. Amazing Race begins!

We realized it’s still a bit early to check in so we decided to hang out outside the airport to chat and smoke. Flight’s scheduled at 5:30am and it was just 4:00am. When we finally went inside the airport, the guard asked for our e-ticket. Mam, ang byaheng Tagbilaran po hindi dito. Sa NAIA Terminal 2 po ‘yan. Poma tried to verify with the ticketing section (for purposes of this kwento, let’s just call it that). NAIA Terminal 2 nga.

wrong pit stop!

Run. Run. Run. We need a cab! AArgghh..Amazing Race!!

We got to NAIA 2 around 4:40am. At the check-in counter, they asked for the credit card used to purchase the tickets or a photocopy of the same. I used my Tito’s credit card. I don’t have a photocopy. I’ve been flying and was never asked to present the card or photocopy of the card. And it’s way too early in the morning to ask my Tito to fax a copy of the card! I went to PAL office trying to reason out. (Although deep in my heart, I knew I can’t talaga argue! That policy is written on the e-ticket, tange!). And so, the plane left us. I couldn’t get a copy of the card. The next flight (8:00am) can accommodate us but we need to pay the fare difference. That was not okay with me and so I made THE calls (at 6:30am!!!). Much love to the people I called. Super. As in.

and so i took the last (and best) option remaining

Off to Bohol.

And I was still in my gimik clothes complete with accessories sheth!

Landed. Was calling up Maj (who was supposed to meet us up at the airport) but she didn't pick up! Poma and I decided to take a cab going to Bohol Beach Club.

Despite all the drama, we were both giddy still. We managed to laugh at what took place. Haha!

But really, kung Amazing Race talaga, wala na kaming aabutan sa Pit Stop!

And so we decided, we can (and will) never join!

Latest Addiction/Frustration

So stressed with work yesterday so I decided to stop for a while and surf the net a bit. As usual, blog-hopping to check what other people (most of them strangers) think or write about. I don’t know, life interests me so much, and I want to know what people are up to. Anyways, I visited my blogspot only to realize that I haven’t posted anything for the week. Last entry was about MLR’s birthday pa. I kept on thinking..what do I write about..what do I write about. I was feeling blank at that time and my mind was empty space. I just started posting in Official Statement, early this year. Prior to that, my thoughts can be found in Trying to Bloom In Snow and Press Release. Well, Press Release is still alive for purposes of my drama in life. So anyways, I tried to visit Trying to Bloom in Snow and Press Release to remind myself of what I used to write about.

Sigh. I never really wrote about general interests pala before. I wrote about life and its complexities. Shett as in all the drama in my life, my rants and raves, lyrics and poetry that affect me… anjan sila lahat pinangangalandakan ko (in the most creative way I can ever). It was then I realized oh yeah, it’s true what they say, dami kong drama from before. But then, I had something to write about. I HAD A REASON. Now I miss writing so bad. As in.

I used to write and write especially in highschool. Every emotion felt, I translated to words. Writing was my outlet. I wrote the things I cannot say. Up to this very moment, I still have those notebooks with me containing the words I never had the guts or chance to say to certain people. Hindi kabaduyan na love letters na wai nasend ha! As in mga stuff like how disappointed I was with you; or I wanted to cut class today and hangout with you but….yan mga ganyan. Nyeta I miss writing. I wrote less when I entered law school. Because somehow in law school, I thought I lost the ability to feel. Hanggang blog nalang. Sigh.

I want to write again. I want to be able to translate something into words once more. And I have a reason.

The drama that is now.

Kaloka Weekend

Friday night was make-up gimik for WTP08 Leg 1 cast. We missed one gimik night in Bora kasi so ayan, mini reunion agad pagbalik ng Manila. And since Mela’s heading to the States na to study (Stanford sosh!), despedida na rin for her diva.

Had dinner first at Dencio's Rockwell then headed to Centerstage, Jupiter for our birit to the max night.

Of course, hindi mawawala sa list of songs ko ang Iisa Pa Lamang by Joey Albert. Ahhaha. Lav et! Hassle lang mag videoke trip when Alecz is around. Songbird kasi ang choosy kaya ayan, sobrang halatang halata na di kami magaling sa pagkanta. Kalurkeeee!!! Anyways, we enjoyed Alecz’ concert. Girl or guy song, bugubug talaga kay Inay.

"Bituing Walang Ningning"

performance level na naman si choosy!

Come Saturday, lunch appointment with Ida and Jeoff @ Century Park Hotel. Lunch buffet ang eksena. Had to discuss din kasi something. Anyways, spontaneous gimik for the night kasi super tagal na since we last went out with Jeoff. Sobrang busy busy kasi ang Becky na ito! Watched “For the First Time” with Ida (wait for the review, ohmygosh.....refund please!) while badminton galore si bakla! Picked up Jego and Dax in Laundryhaus before we headed to Malate to meet up with Jeoff. Kaloka birit night na naman ito. Kalurks! Anyways….sakit na ng throat ko sa walang katapusang pagkanta!

lunch meeting with Jeoff

birit ulet

Sunday. I think I got home from Malate around 4 in the morning. Sheth. I had to wake up early pa since I had to hit the gym before going to Isa’s 1^st Birthday Party! Isa is the youngest daughter of my officemate, Val. Grabe, I can’t explain this feeling. Ang pagpunta sa children’s party na walang bitbit na junakis! Anyways..buti may mini cupcakes si Val….i felt love! Hahaha! Happy Birthday, Isa.

with my Secretary, Tita Des
at dapat may crown kasi princess effect ang theme!

Yan ang weekend. Kapagod. Back to work na. Sheth.

Frustrated Mom

I was busy drafting a petition. My mind was supposedly focused on annulment of marriage tralala. Then out of nowhere I heard little footsteps followed by a little voice calling out, "Mom? Mom?"



Out of the blue, without even thinking, I simply answered "Yes? I'm Here."



My officemate had to remind me huy si Zack yun ni Val. Hindi sayo yun.


Sigh.
Now I can't focus on work anymore.

Please Don't Stop The Music -- on banning barops

Backtrack a bit:

Just graduated from Law School. Spent a few months studying and trying to cram everything up inside my head. I started panicking a week before the first Sunday, i think. It wasn't such a good season for me. Was trying to deal with missed lessons, stress, lazy crazy attacks, etc. Truth is, because so much has happened, I don't even want to remember my bar season. Haha. I must admit though na always ako excited for the bar weekends. I'll be with my sisses and I'll plan what to wear for Sunday ekek. Haha. And of course, being the pa-star that I am, super love ko walking to DLSU with a panicky irita face tapos all the people are looking pa at you. hahaha. Loves it superr! Fun eh, i mean it adds color to the craziness of bar season. May mga tents jan sa tabi tabi, drums boom boom shebang, people screaming, cheering and everything. Maingay. Heavy Traffic. Magulo. Masaya. Super saya. Kaloka.

Now:


read this article.

Manila bans ‘bar ops’ for 2008 bar takers

Barops banned. Permits for barops organizers will no longer be issued. How unfair is that?! I was just having a YM conversation with Trinagar and super kami galit with this news. I mean, okay fine, really this thing causes bad traffic but it also boosts morale of the barristers and of course, big help sha sa mga barristers lalo na those from the province who can't afford to get a place of their own (for HQ purposes). Diba nga, they set up their own tents dun tapos they eat and cram na lang there. Inis talaga. Oo na bad traffic. I don't know ha, pero kasi for me and Trinagar, Barops is a tradition...especially the salubong part. So super hard to accept and imagine na banned na ang lahat ng yan. Tradition banned. For me, it's synonymous to saying wala nang procession, fiesta, christmas shopping, flores de mayo, etc. cause heavy traffic ang effect! HMP!!!!


I feel bad for my sisses who will be taking the bar this September. No drums boom boom shebang atmosphere coupled with stages, trucks and tents.


Tahimik. Walang bad traffic. Maayos. Nakakainis. Irita.

will be missed

Old Habits

8:33 pm.

office.


beating deadline. bora trip in 2 days. stressssss

alcohol. again.


sigh.

bang, baby, bang bang

Last Saturday was my target shooting day! Went to PPSC , Fort Bonifacio with Caron, Mercy and Sherwin. Super pressure for me because I know that all of them were so excited to hear me scream! I’m not really scared of guns. In fact, I enjoy firing pistols (finding it hard to reload though). Ang problem lang, they wanted to see me use an armalite! That is so not girly and I find it too war movie-ish kaya I hesitated a bit. But Arnel, the instructor, insisted that I try the M-16 so ayan, nagpapilit naman ako! First shot, mejo kakagulat because after pulling the trigger, tatamaan ka talaga ng gun sa shoulder if the same was not in its proper position prior to taking the shot. So hayun, until now, I still have bruises caused by the M-16. Seems na okay naman ako with the rifle so according to Kuya Jun (another instructor), full auto na natin ha, try mo. Of course, I asked muna, “so ano mangyayari pag naka full-auto na? “ And he said, “Bale instead na BOOM, magiging BOOM BOOM BOOM”. I said okay kse hello, no problem with that naman. So okay, full auto kung full auto!!! So after all the seremonyas in the target shooting world, I pulled the trigger. And there, I screamed the most baklush scream I can ever!! EEEEEEKKKK EEEEEKKKKK EEEEKKKK. Sabi kasi BOOM BOOM BOOM, yun pala BRATATATATATATATAT!!! Hahaha. Everyone was laughing talaga!! Pati ako natawa na rin with myself (as usual!)

Anyways, I had so much fun. Targeting shooting is therapy to the max. There’s something about it that sets me free in more ways than one. You can only imagine what goes on inside my head right before I pull the trigger. Sabi nga ng instructor, okay ako mag shoot ng target, as in 3 bullets in one hole, kaya! Ang reklamo lang ng instructor sa akin, wala akong ka safety-safety sa katawan, basta mapatay/matamaan lang ang target bahala na! Well, kawawa ang target sa akin. Lahat ng tama nya puro sa head and heart area. Tsk!

That target shooting day freed me from something.

Before we left, I asked for one last date with the pistol and 5 more bullets.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

1 to the head. 4 straight to the heart. With just one name and one thought inside my head…….

………… “Katrina, wag kang titili!”

don't even think about it

A Very Special Love

The truth is I’m a sucker when it comes to Pinoy flicks. As in, Kilabot ng Pelikulang Pilipino (KPP) talaga. There’s something about Pinoy films that draws me to it. Definitely not the story line kasi halos lahat ng Pinoy films medyo predictable kung ano mangyayari (lalo na pag love story). Mabibilang ko lang ang mga Pinoy films na I really liked the story line. But anyways, most of our actors act really well naman kaya okay na rin to some extent. In watching Pinoy flicks, I always watch out for the lines and quotable quotes ng actors. Yung iba kse powerful talaga, as in kaloka. Whenever a great line is used in a movie I always tell myself, “shettt bakit hindi ikaw ang nakaisip/nagsulat nyan?!” haha, frustrated writer ang eksena!

Anyways, I watched A Very Special Love (starring John Lloyd Cruz and Sarah Geronimo) in Trinoma a couple of days ago with my sisters. Being the KPP that I am, I really planned on watching this movie. Yun nga lang, napaaga ang panonood ko because of Ruby (na ohmygosh, isang umaga sa YM puro John Lloyd John Lloyd ang drama) and Alecz (na kwento ng kwento how much he enjoyed watching the film).

photo from http://starcinema.multiply.com

Like what I said earlier, mejo predictable. The usual boy meets girl, awkward moments, hurdles to face, and then tadaaaa they’ll end up din naman in each others’ arms. Ganun ang eksena. Ang mga lines okay naman. Here are some of the lines from the movie:

“I never asked you to love me “ (I’m not too sure about this one, basta to this effect)

“Kahit minsan hindi ko naramdamang nakakapagod kang mahalin…Ngayon lang.”

“Because there’s so much pain in your heart, kaya hindi mo mararamdamang mahal kita.”

Infairness, I like talaga the way John Lloyd acts. Di ko sha crush ha, I don’t get crushes (and besides, John Lloyd reminds me of an ex kasi eh). Basta drama kung drama, meh ganon! Sarah naman super funny. I never expected acting from her, and yupyup, she proved me wrong. Ang pinaka kaloka sa movie ay hiyawan ng mga tao inside the theater. Grabe talaga, nakakaaliw. Everytime a kilig scene comes up, ang ingay talaga sa loob ng theater. Haha. I was laughing all throughout the movie because most of the scenes were really kakatawa (ah hello, romantic comedy nga eh), and shempre natatawa ako sa kilig moments. I’m not a kiligin person kasi eh, just wasn’t born that way. So pag may mga scenes na parang kinilig ako ng konting konti lang (haha), natatawa talaga ako. Yung parang shettt bakit ako kinilig dun. Haha, ganon.

Basta bottomline, maganda sha. Kaaliw. Katuwa. Super light feeling afterwards. Until now I still laugh everytime I remember some of the scenes/lines.

Loves it!!! Go watch!

The Unspeakable

photo grabbed from Eunice Monsod

The world is full of weirdos!

For days now I've been getting calls from this unknown number. It's not really my thing to answer calls from strangers, but wala eh, i found it weird na that this number keeps on calling. So one time nung may missed call na naman si stranger, I tried to return the call (thinking it was work-related). Tama ba naman na sigawan ako ng boylet ng "sino to?!?!" I tried to hold my temper (gosh ang hirap nun) and calmly said "uhm, i got a call from your number. I called because i thought this is work-related". And a girl suddenly grabbed the phone from the guy..at ang sabi sa akin ni girl "Wag kang malandi ha, umayos ka!" Of course I hung up. Obviously wrong number.

At nagtext pa ha.... "Bakit ka tumatawag sa asawa ko?!"

Aynaku, kagalit! Pwede ba..ikadena at ikulong n'yo nalang ang mga asawa nyo! And stop bothering me!

I don't go for married men!

grrrr!

Bading Man....

After one drink at Ces, Diale and Dae’s birthday bash, I had to meet up with Alecz for a previously scheduled bonding experience (yez!). We watched Dark Knight then went straight to south area for a couple of drinks and our much-needed heart to heart talk. I had issues to discuss that only Alecz can understand (yes, meh ganon!). Anyways, I was blabbing the night away when this old dude (not so old naman, pero compared to me he’s really old) told alecz ‘we can talk’. As we were really into the conversation and shempre wala kaming planong makipagchikahan sa stranger, Alecz simply told this loner na we’re having a serious conversation. Okay, the dude backed off. A couple of drinks later, this dude who’s super getting scary na at that point tried to harass me/us. He never got anything aside from pang deadma at rejection. Infairness to mother Aleli, talagang ever watchful sha kay kadiri dude (as if trying to see kung may gagawin ba itong mama na ito) while listening to me blab about my current issues. Aba shempre hello, dumadrama pa ako anuva! Kahit naman I was so into this whole telling Alecz what’s bugging me, I was trying hard din to sense kung safe ba kami or hindi. Well anyways, as Alecz would put it, hindi na siguro talaga kinaya ng old dude. He suddenly grabbed me by my shoulder while I was making drama/daldal. I was super shocked. I guess none of us really anticipated that the dude will resort to that kind of behavior. Bigla ako napasabi ng “NOOO” to the guy’s face. But the shocking part was this: as soon as Alecz saw the dude grab me by the shoulder, mejo napatayo si Alecz sa chair nya and while finger pointed at the dude, he told him “hey, you’re not supposed to do that” (in his best man voice ha). Alecz got the bill (nagmamadali at parang pikon na boylet sha habang kinakausap ang waiter) and we left the area.

While in the car, Alecz asked, “mother, ano na feel mo, natakot ka?” Honestly, hindi ako natakot. I was more of nagulat. Nagulat that suddenly, this stranger attempted to touch me. More importantly, nagulat ako na naging lalake bigla itong si Alecz. He explained that it was all instinct; he can’t understand as well why he acted that way. Odiva, may ganong drama.

It was an experience. The harassment part, wala na yun mashado. Looord naman, bakit ko ipagkakalat na may ganong nangyari sa akin diva!! That part where Alecz tried to protect me was most important of all (that’s why I decided to blog about this). I guess it’s like that. At the end of the day, lalake pa rin talaga kahit pa girlaloo bad girl si mother. Angkop na angkop sa MMK-special na topic namin. Touched ako ha, everytime kasi I’m with Alecz, I feel as if pareho kaming girlash. Ako ang klusha magnetica na may super powers at sha ang mudra for all seasons! That night, na feel ko talaga ang pagka girl ko. Kaloka, naging lalake si mother for a couple of minutes, di ko kinaya, breathtaking ang drama nitei!!

Well, Aleli, thank you so much for the eye-openers given and especially for protecting me that night. Kaloka, natakot sayo ang damuhong stranger na ‘yun. Ka touch talaga.

Klusha Magnetica & Mudra for all seasons

May pag-asa pa pala, Aleli, sa mga ganyang paraan. Haha. Bits and pieces. I guess we, especially I, can live with that. Kabloom!

quick break

a few more to go.....and then blogging can resume.